I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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