NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
