Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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