just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
