I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
