i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
