i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
