oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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