What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
