I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
