Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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