Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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