My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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