i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
