I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
