just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
