how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
