good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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