so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
