"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Me too!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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