I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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