You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
