i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
