he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
