so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
