He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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