why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
