One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
