Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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