wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
