Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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