i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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