I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
