What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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