he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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