I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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