dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So much Jack, so little girl.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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