porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
