last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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