Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
