You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
