I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Randomize
