lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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