so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
