There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
