Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
