someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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