My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
