yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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