Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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