Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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