Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
